This was a transitional Christmas. It was the last Christmas of the decade. It was my youngest child's first Christmas. It was my first Christmas being unemployed, and God willing my last. It seems a fitting end to a hard yet wonderful year. My 4 children crowded around the tree. They can't wait to see what they got. They don't know what it is, but they know it's good.
I awoke before the kids that morning. I felt a heavy weight. All I could focus on is how I have failed my family so many times. How many times I put my needs ahead of theirs. How many times I have personally failed to be not only to be the Father and husband they need, but to be the man the God wants. I sank below this feeling, and before I could get a chance to wallow I looked at the gifts they we had gotten. I've had Christmases with much more under the tree for less people, but when I thought about the people God has lead to help us out. The clearance at the thrift store where Sarah found 20, nearly untouched high quality children's books for pocket change. If it were Barnes and Noble it would have cost hundreds of dollars. This was enough to give me pause. Then I starting thinking about all the people that have blessed us over the past 6 months. Then I starting thinking about all the people before that blessed us before that. Then I started to weigh that against myself. Against my own decisions. Not to sound old fashion, but my sin. It didn't add up. This shouldn't be happening. I should be foreclosing on this house. I should be alone for the way I've treated my family, yet here I am looking at a picture perfect Christmas...Then I thought about Jesus. I was in a Good Friday mood on Christmas. He was born to die. Born to forgive. Born so we can start over.
My prayer for this new decade is hope. That God will make a place in me that hope never dies. Like Thomas I need help with my unbelief, but I know this place is just a poor reflection, but sometimes, even a poor reflection can shine bright.
Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thanks you's and Niamh and I learn about Pride
Wow, I'm a lazy blogger, but I'm starting my new years resolutions early this year. I'm going to work out a little everyday and write a little everyday. (Don't expect a blog entry everyday. I'm also trying to write a screenplay. "Trying", being the operative word).
I wan to say thank you again for everyone who helped out with the concert in October. Again, without it my family and I would be facing down homelessness. Now, instead God's blessing with more than we can imagine. I still do not have a full-time job, but I've been able to work part-time contract at Judson, as well as teach at Columbia, and produce Corporate videos, as well as still getting gifts from near strangers. It's odd have three bosses all the time and no benefits, but being able to pay a bill is very good feeling, which brings me to my next point...
Pride, or rather humility, or should I say Pride vs. Humility. My 8 year old daughter Niamh a couple of days ago began to develop a fairly strong defiant streak, well, at least for her. For instance she'd get on the computer and start playing a game when I asked her to pick up her room, and she'd pretend I wasn't there. At first I thought I wasn't getting her attention, but as I said it for the third time she finally said in a voice slightly louder than a whisper, "I only want to do what I want to do." Of course I was a little upset and explained that that was unacceptable, but throughout the day this phrase was repeated in one instance after another, with the volume and physical body language becoming more exaggerated with each outburst. Finally, I had had enough and we had a talk in her room alone.
Sometimes I struggle with my faith in fundamental ways, like, "Is God real or a social construct", "Is my belief in God a well developed evolutionary survival mechanism." You know man having become self-aware needs a reason to survive and thrive besides that fact that his body is telling him to. Sorry, my life long Christian friends. I went to public school, so I think about these things sometimes. However, I know there is a God when I say things that make profound sense. I am an idiot most of time, and simple not saying anything the rest of the time, but occasionally I'll say something that as Banyan would say on Seinfeld, "It's gold Jerry! Pure Gold!"
"Niamh, you have a pride problem, and pride will eventually take everything away from you." I think I looked around to see who said it, but I know where it came from. "You want the computer and toys, and friendships, but if you want it all just for you no one will give it to you. Everything you wanted today I would have given you, but you didn't ask, and you decided you knew better, but none of that worked out because you didn't stop to ask me." This is true. I'm not a narcissists. I'm looking out for her best interest as well as her siblings. I see the big picture that she cannot see. I now realized at this point I was speaking to my daughter but could have just as easily been listening to God. I was blind to it but I thought I knew better. I thought I had something to do with the blessings I had. It's ALL a gift. You have nothing to do with anything you have or don't have. You're always where God wants you to be. You just have to ask Him what He thinks. What's His will, not mine?
This hit home, but the story of Moses sealed the deal. She's very familiar with Moses so all I had to say was, "What happened to Pharaoh?" "He died," she said. "Before that." "I don't remember." "Remember the plagues? Each time God gave him a chance to do the right thing, and each time he said no. Do you know why it was so hard for the Pharaoh to let the Hebrews go?" "Why?" "Because once you let pride in it takes over. You have to stop it as it knocks at your heart. You have to tell it to go away as soon as you start wanting everything your way. Even if you have to do it in Jesus name. Pharaoh had it all and lost everything because of pride, even his son." By this point Niamh was crying (I was a little too), but we had both learned a valuable lesson, she learned I was reminded I should say that we can't go it alone. We need God. We need others. I don't care how badass you are you were not created to be insular and completely self-sufficient. In fact it's pretty badass to have a connection with God and your fellow man. In other words it's pretty sweet to be zen!
I wan to say thank you again for everyone who helped out with the concert in October. Again, without it my family and I would be facing down homelessness. Now, instead God's blessing with more than we can imagine. I still do not have a full-time job, but I've been able to work part-time contract at Judson, as well as teach at Columbia, and produce Corporate videos, as well as still getting gifts from near strangers. It's odd have three bosses all the time and no benefits, but being able to pay a bill is very good feeling, which brings me to my next point...
Pride, or rather humility, or should I say Pride vs. Humility. My 8 year old daughter Niamh a couple of days ago began to develop a fairly strong defiant streak, well, at least for her. For instance she'd get on the computer and start playing a game when I asked her to pick up her room, and she'd pretend I wasn't there. At first I thought I wasn't getting her attention, but as I said it for the third time she finally said in a voice slightly louder than a whisper, "I only want to do what I want to do." Of course I was a little upset and explained that that was unacceptable, but throughout the day this phrase was repeated in one instance after another, with the volume and physical body language becoming more exaggerated with each outburst. Finally, I had had enough and we had a talk in her room alone.
Sometimes I struggle with my faith in fundamental ways, like, "Is God real or a social construct", "Is my belief in God a well developed evolutionary survival mechanism." You know man having become self-aware needs a reason to survive and thrive besides that fact that his body is telling him to. Sorry, my life long Christian friends. I went to public school, so I think about these things sometimes. However, I know there is a God when I say things that make profound sense. I am an idiot most of time, and simple not saying anything the rest of the time, but occasionally I'll say something that as Banyan would say on Seinfeld, "It's gold Jerry! Pure Gold!""Niamh, you have a pride problem, and pride will eventually take everything away from you." I think I looked around to see who said it, but I know where it came from. "You want the computer and toys, and friendships, but if you want it all just for you no one will give it to you. Everything you wanted today I would have given you, but you didn't ask, and you decided you knew better, but none of that worked out because you didn't stop to ask me." This is true. I'm not a narcissists. I'm looking out for her best interest as well as her siblings. I see the big picture that she cannot see. I now realized at this point I was speaking to my daughter but could have just as easily been listening to God. I was blind to it but I thought I knew better. I thought I had something to do with the blessings I had. It's ALL a gift. You have nothing to do with anything you have or don't have. You're always where God wants you to be. You just have to ask Him what He thinks. What's His will, not mine?
This hit home, but the story of Moses sealed the deal. She's very familiar with Moses so all I had to say was, "What happened to Pharaoh?" "He died," she said. "Before that." "I don't remember." "Remember the plagues? Each time God gave him a chance to do the right thing, and each time he said no. Do you know why it was so hard for the Pharaoh to let the Hebrews go?" "Why?" "Because once you let pride in it takes over. You have to stop it as it knocks at your heart. You have to tell it to go away as soon as you start wanting everything your way. Even if you have to do it in Jesus name. Pharaoh had it all and lost everything because of pride, even his son." By this point Niamh was crying (I was a little too), but we had both learned a valuable lesson, she learned I was reminded I should say that we can't go it alone. We need God. We need others. I don't care how badass you are you were not created to be insular and completely self-sufficient. In fact it's pretty badass to have a connection with God and your fellow man. In other words it's pretty sweet to be zen!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Making Strides
Woke up to a glorious day! bathed in sunlight, a relief from the varying shades of gray that we've experienced here in Illinois over the past several weeks. Although, cold it's dry, but by God I'll take it at least it's not wet. Sarah decided last minute to go, just her and Niamh, to the Making Strides for Breast Cancer Walk at Chicago Premium Outlets, instead of all of us. It's just as well, the younger ones didn't understand what it's about, and probably won't last very long in the cold. We all go through a various personal tragedies, but we're not meant to bear them alone. My wife's cousin, and good friend Christina Berger was recently diagnosed with Breast cancer. She's going through Kimo and we've never heard her complain, not even once. Nevertheless, this is a frustrating persistent disease that takes still so little is known about. Here's how you can help.
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?fr_id=19898&pg=pfind
Visit this link and make a donation using her name, or the name of anyone else you know who may be walking this morning. Christina's story is here as well. Even you don't have the money she also takes prayers :-).
Thursday, October 8, 2009
When I consider...
In the quiet twilight, heads turned away. Lost in imaginings, these people I have been blessed to know so intimately gather their vaporous thoughts into mass. One, innocently, in naiveté, embracing the boyish thought of a man's strength. Another, the beauty of a flat world, it's hue and characters dead and flat on the page, resurrect themselves. Their tones warm. Their movement strung along and within the third dimension. Surrounded. Jovial. Specters of light and joy. The third, howling. Mischievous. Rolling with laughter. Nirvana in flesh! Absolved of pain. A stranger to the worries of this world. Her few years, and relentless spirit push against the weight of all that is wrong. Her confidence taunts deaths mysteriously absent sting.
A fourth! Dear God, a fourth so beautiful it makes me cry. An ache of joy that rattles me into surrender. There can be no doubt of You. These so called poor reflections so clear and bright I could no more deny them then I could deny my breath. Your people. Friends and strangers alike hear Your call. Your arms have many names. Your hands the hands of the humble. God in flesh. Today. Here. Now.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
"i think we must have been exhausted" or "wisdom from the birds"
Sorry about the Title. We've been watching Rocky and Bullwinkle on Hulu lately, and at the end of each episode they would tell to tune in next time and give you 2 titles for the next episode. I suspect because they were not sure which one to go with.
So we said we'd post a more thorough update yesterday, but c'mon, if you know us, are you really surprised it was tonight, encroaching on midnight? apparently we were all exhausted, all the way down to eilidh, from all of the build up to, and then actual concert itself. the kids crashed on sunday night as soon as the baths were done, with tadhg camping out on the girl's floor...EFA: "He's sleeping here now mom, it makes him feel cozy and safe, because we, (meaning herself and niamh), are big and strong, and we pray to Jesus...his room is just full of Thomas trains, our room is full of God." thankfully they all stayed put, and eilidh did her usual thing and knocked out for 10 hours, snug as a bug...yes, we know how amazing that is, considering NONE of the others ever did this, even now! we soon followed suit.
yesterday morning was far too early, but it was amazing to wake up and really, truly know, that the burden was lifted. don't get me wrong, we were trusting, but there is always that weight in the back of your head or in my case, the pit of my lower intestine, that you just can't shake until it is over. and by over, i mean the concert/benefit/huge leap of faith turned even huger blessing, (and yes, i'm pretty sure "huger" is not a word...). but we knew that andrew could head straight to the bank and so much of the recent stress would be calmed. amazing!
and since it was monday, andrew had his class at columbia to teach, and that means downtown all day and into the evening. great for him, he really loves teaching, but the kiddos, not so much. tadhg was particularly inconsolable. even his faithful trains could not assuade the sadness...his daddy was GONE, and no matter what i said, the sorrow of a day without daddy was almost more than any 2 year old could bear. have we mentioned that he is the dramatic one? but we survived, and andrew made it home in time for bedtime stories, and the kids decided to make it night 2 of camping out all in one room. (at this rate, we could still be in our apartment in new york and they'd be happy!) andrew and i barely finished our nightly hulu fix before crashing too. oops, blog didn't get done...
on a side note, which we will probably have alot of, a silver lining to all of this joblessness, is that after years of daddy working crazy hours, they got to have the whole summer with him! now, if you ask andrew, this was probably more fun for them than him, considering the fact that he pretty much spent it running with niamh, toting eilidh wherever he went and alternately balancing efa and tadhg on his shoulders, (and i have to admit, that if you have to pick 2 of our kids to carry around on your shoulders all day, these are not the 2 to choose...they both got the engel family build and carrying them might as well be carrying a bag of wet cement!) at least he got a work out! he also got to enjoy the trails on the bike for the first time ever and is now hooked! we are so glad we got the trailer last year...i'd love to know how many miles we put on it this summer, all the while with tadhg telling andrew not to stand up to ride, "DANGER! YOU SIT DOWN! NOW!" our little safety expert, unless it is his own behaviour, then he is exempt from danger...because he's tadhg.
and just to be fair, andrew also put a pretty big dent in evening out the diaper changing score...but only a dent, i still have the high score. anyway, summer with dad, yet ANOTHER blessing! back to the main thought...if i can remember it.
ok, concert/benefit update. here it is.
(Andrew taking over writing duties from Sarah who's clearly drunk)
The concert was a huge success! Thank you for everyone who came out and also for those who donated online. We are now able to make a mortgage payment! Now we are only 2 months behind on our mortgage instead of 3, which keeps us from going into pre-foreclosure. There is a still a financial quagmire to crawl out of, but as of last week I went from 1 part-time job (teaching adjunct at Columbia), to 3 part-time jobs (Apple tech as Judson 3 days a week, Corporate video client wants to go into production). I think the technically definition of what I'm going through is called "under-employed", having part-time/contract work, but it feels like over-employment.
Back to the benefit. The show started at 3pm, but only a few of Greg's regulars were there. (Darn Bears and their close games!) Greg was ridiculous! By ridiculous I mean he was really good! He is one of the best guitar players I've seen live, and I seen a lot. By 3:30 people began to show up and it was a party. The party also reminded me of the stage of life I'm in now, and who my friends are. There were more small children than adults, and at one point Greg was heckled by a 3 year old. Luckily it's a church with large rooms and we were able to settle all the hooligans down and find something for them to do. All told my family and myself feel uber-blessed! We got to hear great music from a great guy, hang with our friends and some kind strangers, and be delivered from a nasty mess. 3 cheers! 1 for God, 1 for Greg, and 1 for you. Hip Hip Hooray!
7-12 "But ask the animals what they think—let them teach you;
let the birds tell you what's going on.
Put your ear to the earth—learn the basics.
Listen—the fish in the ocean will tell you their stories.
Isn't it clear that they all know and agree
that God is sovereign, that he holds all things in his hand—
Every living soul, yes,
every breathing creature?
Isn't this all just common sense,
as common as the sense of taste?
Do you think the elderly have a corner on wisdom,
that you have to grow old before you understand life?
From God We Learn How to Live
13-25 "True wisdom and real power belong to God;from him we learn how to live,
and also what to live for.
If he tears something down, it's down for good;
if he locks people up, they're locked up for good.
If he holds back the rain, there's a drought;
if he lets it loose, there's a flood.
Strength and success belong to God;
both deceived and deceiver must answer to him.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Home Sweet Home, an update...
Praise God!!!!!! Thanks to all of you who donated, attended the concert, prayed and supported us...we have met our goal, almost to the penny! HUGE THANKS to Greg Boerner, he is a phenomenal musician and played an incredible show, and we are eternally grateful. We'll post a more complete update tomorrow, but for now, I think I will finally be able to sleep...Saturday, October 3, 2009
just a fun reminder to come hang out with us tomorrow if you can...we'd love to see you!
Greg Boerner
3-5 pm
Ginger Creek in Aurora
$10 at the door...KIDS ARE FREE!
if you can't make it out but would still like to participate check out the donate button after this post...
trusting and praying, giving thanks!
1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message)
13No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.
Big praise!
God's good! We still have a long way to go, but just from online donations we have reached 15% of our goal. (The goal being $2000) Thank you so much to everyone who gave it means more than you can know. Thank you to everyone who has provided for us in this time. Being out of work for 4 months and having 4 children and a new house is a stomach churning experience, but God and His people are good, even people who don't know that their God's children yet. I pray this experience has a profound effect on them.
Praise update. I'm starting some contract work at Judson next week. There's no benefits and the pay isn't quite up to where I was before we started this adventure, but this will keep us from sinking anything further into financial ruin. Please pray I find some fulltime work soon. I had some interviews last week that were very promising. but I won't know anything for a couple weeks.
Praise update. I'm starting some contract work at Judson next week. There's no benefits and the pay isn't quite up to where I was before we started this adventure, but this will keep us from sinking anything further into financial ruin. Please pray I find some fulltime work soon. I had some interviews last week that were very promising. but I won't know anything for a couple weeks.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
What's it all about anyway?
I think I hear the clock ticking. I thought it was the clock ticking for the house to go into foreclosure, but it turns out to be something different. It’s the clock ticking for change, for me personally if I will change. God’s graciously give me ample time to act, but that time will soon be over. I kept hoping and praying to make ends meet before it came to this, but God had a different plan. If I got work in time to pay things down, this experience wouldn’t have any weight, besides me having a moderately bruised ego and bottom-line, I’d come out unscathed…unchanged. This was not to be.
God has supplied amply. Food showing up at my door every week, money showing up just as I spent my last dime, the lights did go out last week because I couldn’t pay the electric bill, but I was blessed by a stranger there as well. I’ve witnessed God’s provision over and over, otherwise, there’s no way anyone would be able to read this, but God is more than a provider. Here’s the conversation we keep having
Me: God please take care of my family. Please pay our bills, let find work etc…
God: Do you want to keep your house?
Me: Yes.
God: Your know you’re going to have to lay everything down, and give glory to Me for this work right?
Me: Yeah, sure
God: You’re going to have to lay down your pride and let the world know your drowning, and that there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
Me: (silence)
God: Well?
Me: No other way?
God: No other way.
Me: Why again?
God: So that your story will be a testimony to my provision, and that you will learn to fight for your family, but to fight with strength that is not your own.
If you feel lead please give what you can, as we prayerfully get through this time.
Monday, September 28, 2009
ROCK OUT TO HELP OUT! with Greg Boerner
Greg is awesome. He heard our story and decided to do a two hour benefit concert for us. Here's the info below. GOD IS AWESOME!!!
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 4TH, 3-5 P.M.
Ginger Creek Community Church
$10 at the door
KIDS 12 AND UNDER FREE!
Rock out to Help Out!
a benenfit concert featuring
GREG BOERNER
www.gregboerner.com
Critically acclaimed Blues/folk guitarist and singer Greg Boerner has generously offered to play a special two-hour benefit concert with proceeds blessing the Jones family of Batavia. After an unexpected job loss earlier in the year, this family of 6 is in danger of losing their home...lets ROCK OUT TO HELP OUT!
Greg Boerner, A transplanted Southerner with serious chops on the acoustic blues guitar....Boerner makes you feel as if you're sitting on the back porch with him as he's pickin', grinnin'....easy listening on your own back porch (or in the coffee shop, as the case may be).
-Jim DeRogatis, Pop Music Critic, Chicago Sun-Times
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 4TH, 3-5 P.M.
Ginger Creek Community Church
$10 at the door
KIDS 12 AND UNDER FREE!
Rock out to Help Out!
a benenfit concert featuring
GREG BOERNER
www.gregboerner.com
Critically acclaimed Blues/folk guitarist and singer Greg Boerner has generously offered to play a special two-hour benefit concert with proceeds blessing the Jones family of Batavia. After an unexpected job loss earlier in the year, this family of 6 is in danger of losing their home...lets ROCK OUT TO HELP OUT!
Greg Boerner, A transplanted Southerner with serious chops on the acoustic blues guitar....Boerner makes you feel as if you're sitting on the back porch with him as he's pickin', grinnin'....easy listening on your own back porch (or in the coffee shop, as the case may be).
-Jim DeRogatis, Pop Music Critic, Chicago Sun-Times
Interview
Had an interview for a part time job at Judson last week that went very well, should hear from them soon. Have one today at Columbia. Please pray.
Multiplying!
this is something andrew wrote about a week after he lost the job...since then we have had more blessings from more unexpected places than we could ever imagine...but this is how it started. we will post more soon!
June 2009
I don't have anything to say about the events of the last few days. There's a lot there, but it involves a lot of people and frankly it's none of your business, but I will speak to this....
...After realizing that I no longer have any work, and that our prospects looked bleak. I hugged Sarah and just prayed to God to make some sense out of this. That night my mother-in-law came over. She came through the door with a loaf of bread and a small bag of bananas. "Look, God is providing already!" I smiled, thanked her for the gift, and continued being lost in grief. Then she said "Andrew, come her with your wife and let us pray over these loaves, and fish...Okay,... bananas, and pray that God multiplies this blessing. We prayed. "Dear heavenly Father, she said. "Please bless this food, may you make it multiply Lord, as you have provided for us so many times. You are our Jehovah Jireh, our provider, and we ask and we know that You can do these things. In Jesus name, Amen." It wasn't that I was skeptical that God could change things. I've seen God move before. But I was despondent, and hurt and really, all I wanted to do was grieve and move on.
I woke up today like I had woken up yesterday. At first calm, but after about ten seconds those demons, which for those of you unfamiliar with the beliefs of the Christian tradition, you can take figuratively, but for those of you who are, I mean very literally "demons", began turning my stomach in knots about my present situation and the doom that will soon follow. I prayed, and after some moments, those feelings went away, replaced with a calming sense of peace, even a little hope.
That evening Sarah went with her Mom to return some things to Target, as we could get store credit, and use it to buy diapers. There wasn't much. A pair of jeans Sarah had bought on sale for the ridiculous price of $5.34. They came back home that night triumphant. "Look at this!" Sarah shoved the receipt in my face. "What?" I said as I quickly scanned the receipt for anything worthy of her response. "They gave me back $12.84." "Okay," I said. "Andrew, these jeans only cost $5.34. See, God's multiplying our blessings already." "Wow." I said, underwhelmed. "You should be freaking out." she said. "No, I am. That's cool." feigning excitement, still a little confused. My response didn't deter her joy, as she stashed the receipt and moved along.
The food I mentioned earlier that Sarah's Mother-in-law had brought to us had come from Ginger Creek. They provide lunch for their pre-school "Ginger Care" and sometimes if their numbers are low they have leftovers that they either throw away or my Mother-in-law takes to give to whomever may need it. It usually isn't much, but are grateful when it comes. The woman preparing the food was substituting for the regular staffer who typically does it, and had just been slicing oranges. On her left a pile of unsliced oranges. On her right the pile of oranges she had been slicing. Logically, one pile will get smaller as the other pile gets bigger. Logically, that pile being the pile on the left getting smaller, as the pile on the right gets bigger. There were a dozen or so oranges, just like their had been countless other days, because that is the amount of oranges they order daily from their catering company. After this woman had sliced the last serving of oranges she glanced back over at the pile on the left, which by this point shouldn't be there. She went to deliver the snack to the classrooms but stopped by the office to mention the strange occurrence in the kitchen to some of the teachers and staff. "It's the strangest thing," she said, "It seems as if no matter how many slices i cut, the number of oranges stayed the same, it's so weird!" I don't know what was said at this point, but this is where I imagine my mother-in-law joyfully shout, "Multiplying!", grabbing the oranges and scurrying off. Predictably the oranges are now sitting in a bag on my kitchen counter, ready for smoothies in the morning.
This afternoon I was sitting with Eilidh in my lap when the doorbell rang. We weren't expecting anyone, so we were surprised to see a friend we had met recently through church. She had a bouquet of bright yellow flowers in her hand and she askes us to come out to her van. She opened the back hatch and pulled out three large Rubbermaid containers full of food. We are not talking Aldi. We're talking Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, artisian breads, fancy cheeses, Gluten free items, frozen flatbread pizzas, fresh produce. "Will you guys eat any of this?" she asked. I immediately welled up. It was if God had slapped me in the face with His grace. It that moment The Word came alive. He had "multiplied" our blessings, and specifically too. Our 2 oldest children have autism...God has brought them so very far in the last few years, but alot of their progress relies on a modified diet plan that we have found to be essential. When we go off the diet, they both have regression issues. Needless to say, this is one of our biggest concerns since sticking with those needs is not cheap! When we looked closer we realized that she had brought foods to meet our children's strict dietary needs exactlty. The clincher was the giant sack of bananas. It looked exactly like the small bag we had prayed over just two nights ago, only much bigger. I had to use two hands to carry into the house. Our friend has blessed us like she will never know, and like all humble servants told us "This didn't come from me. This is God's food He just told me to bring it here."
Again, this evening my mother-in-law came over. She brought a friend she had told of our situation. He was raised Catholic, like her, but unlike her had only somewhat recently began looking beyond himself. They brought for us a simple, yet delicious meal of spinach salad and fresh bread with Olive oil and crushed pepper, played with the kids for a few moments and then they were on their way. I didn't notice it immediately, but on our kitchen counter was an envelope. I looked at Sarah. Sarah looked at me. It said: for Sarah and Andrew, a gift. "You open it," I said. She opened it. I don't want to go into details, but it took a few moments to count all the twenties...."Multiplying"
My family has a verse. It came in a vision from my mother-in-law when Niamh was born. We didn't really understand the significance at the time, but as the years pass the meaning grows clearer and we have always claimed it as a life verse for our growing family.
"..See if I will not throw open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room for it... "
Malachi 3:10b
I like this verse because it's ballsy. It's as if someone challenged God's provision to His face, and He answers: "Oh yeah? I've been blessing people since before you were born. You're gonna get so much blessing that you're not gonna know what to do. You're gonna be like "Help! Help! I'm drowning in milk, honey, and iPhones, my non-believing booty is lost in my gold mansion. I need to hire someone to prune my money tree. I have an easy button for my easy button.”….Okay, that was a little extreme, but you get my point, right? Again, sorry to my traditionalist Christian friends, but this note is for everyone. God loves everybody, no exceptions. God also has a sense of humor..."Mulitplying"
June 2009
I don't have anything to say about the events of the last few days. There's a lot there, but it involves a lot of people and frankly it's none of your business, but I will speak to this....
...After realizing that I no longer have any work, and that our prospects looked bleak. I hugged Sarah and just prayed to God to make some sense out of this. That night my mother-in-law came over. She came through the door with a loaf of bread and a small bag of bananas. "Look, God is providing already!" I smiled, thanked her for the gift, and continued being lost in grief. Then she said "Andrew, come her with your wife and let us pray over these loaves, and fish...Okay,... bananas, and pray that God multiplies this blessing. We prayed. "Dear heavenly Father, she said. "Please bless this food, may you make it multiply Lord, as you have provided for us so many times. You are our Jehovah Jireh, our provider, and we ask and we know that You can do these things. In Jesus name, Amen." It wasn't that I was skeptical that God could change things. I've seen God move before. But I was despondent, and hurt and really, all I wanted to do was grieve and move on.
I woke up today like I had woken up yesterday. At first calm, but after about ten seconds those demons, which for those of you unfamiliar with the beliefs of the Christian tradition, you can take figuratively, but for those of you who are, I mean very literally "demons", began turning my stomach in knots about my present situation and the doom that will soon follow. I prayed, and after some moments, those feelings went away, replaced with a calming sense of peace, even a little hope.
That evening Sarah went with her Mom to return some things to Target, as we could get store credit, and use it to buy diapers. There wasn't much. A pair of jeans Sarah had bought on sale for the ridiculous price of $5.34. They came back home that night triumphant. "Look at this!" Sarah shoved the receipt in my face. "What?" I said as I quickly scanned the receipt for anything worthy of her response. "They gave me back $12.84." "Okay," I said. "Andrew, these jeans only cost $5.34. See, God's multiplying our blessings already." "Wow." I said, underwhelmed. "You should be freaking out." she said. "No, I am. That's cool." feigning excitement, still a little confused. My response didn't deter her joy, as she stashed the receipt and moved along.
The food I mentioned earlier that Sarah's Mother-in-law had brought to us had come from Ginger Creek. They provide lunch for their pre-school "Ginger Care" and sometimes if their numbers are low they have leftovers that they either throw away or my Mother-in-law takes to give to whomever may need it. It usually isn't much, but are grateful when it comes. The woman preparing the food was substituting for the regular staffer who typically does it, and had just been slicing oranges. On her left a pile of unsliced oranges. On her right the pile of oranges she had been slicing. Logically, one pile will get smaller as the other pile gets bigger. Logically, that pile being the pile on the left getting smaller, as the pile on the right gets bigger. There were a dozen or so oranges, just like their had been countless other days, because that is the amount of oranges they order daily from their catering company. After this woman had sliced the last serving of oranges she glanced back over at the pile on the left, which by this point shouldn't be there. She went to deliver the snack to the classrooms but stopped by the office to mention the strange occurrence in the kitchen to some of the teachers and staff. "It's the strangest thing," she said, "It seems as if no matter how many slices i cut, the number of oranges stayed the same, it's so weird!" I don't know what was said at this point, but this is where I imagine my mother-in-law joyfully shout, "Multiplying!", grabbing the oranges and scurrying off. Predictably the oranges are now sitting in a bag on my kitchen counter, ready for smoothies in the morning.
This afternoon I was sitting with Eilidh in my lap when the doorbell rang. We weren't expecting anyone, so we were surprised to see a friend we had met recently through church. She had a bouquet of bright yellow flowers in her hand and she askes us to come out to her van. She opened the back hatch and pulled out three large Rubbermaid containers full of food. We are not talking Aldi. We're talking Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, artisian breads, fancy cheeses, Gluten free items, frozen flatbread pizzas, fresh produce. "Will you guys eat any of this?" she asked. I immediately welled up. It was if God had slapped me in the face with His grace. It that moment The Word came alive. He had "multiplied" our blessings, and specifically too. Our 2 oldest children have autism...God has brought them so very far in the last few years, but alot of their progress relies on a modified diet plan that we have found to be essential. When we go off the diet, they both have regression issues. Needless to say, this is one of our biggest concerns since sticking with those needs is not cheap! When we looked closer we realized that she had brought foods to meet our children's strict dietary needs exactlty. The clincher was the giant sack of bananas. It looked exactly like the small bag we had prayed over just two nights ago, only much bigger. I had to use two hands to carry into the house. Our friend has blessed us like she will never know, and like all humble servants told us "This didn't come from me. This is God's food He just told me to bring it here."
Again, this evening my mother-in-law came over. She brought a friend she had told of our situation. He was raised Catholic, like her, but unlike her had only somewhat recently began looking beyond himself. They brought for us a simple, yet delicious meal of spinach salad and fresh bread with Olive oil and crushed pepper, played with the kids for a few moments and then they were on their way. I didn't notice it immediately, but on our kitchen counter was an envelope. I looked at Sarah. Sarah looked at me. It said: for Sarah and Andrew, a gift. "You open it," I said. She opened it. I don't want to go into details, but it took a few moments to count all the twenties...."Multiplying"
My family has a verse. It came in a vision from my mother-in-law when Niamh was born. We didn't really understand the significance at the time, but as the years pass the meaning grows clearer and we have always claimed it as a life verse for our growing family.
"..See if I will not throw open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room for it... "
Malachi 3:10b
I like this verse because it's ballsy. It's as if someone challenged God's provision to His face, and He answers: "Oh yeah? I've been blessing people since before you were born. You're gonna get so much blessing that you're not gonna know what to do. You're gonna be like "Help! Help! I'm drowning in milk, honey, and iPhones, my non-believing booty is lost in my gold mansion. I need to hire someone to prune my money tree. I have an easy button for my easy button.”….Okay, that was a little extreme, but you get my point, right? Again, sorry to my traditionalist Christian friends, but this note is for everyone. God loves everybody, no exceptions. God also has a sense of humor..."Mulitplying"
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